Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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