Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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