Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
