i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
