Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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