just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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