He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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