Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
