tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
