I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
