I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
