she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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