Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
