I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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