Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
