you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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