I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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