4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
