I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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