Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
