She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
