K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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