ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
