Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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