you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
