That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You're like the curious george of whores
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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