we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
