Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
