apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
