I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
