can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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