so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
