So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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