literally had 100 drinks last night.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
