I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
