Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
