Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
