Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
