Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
