and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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