I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
