I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
