I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
