Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize