i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
