can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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