god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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