apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
