remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
