My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
